free rommy New York → Kansas City → San Francisco → Stockholm → Berlin

Lagom

I can't believe I've been here a year and I haven't written about "lagom".

From Wikipedia:
The Lexin Swedish-English dictionary defines lagom as "enough, sufficient, adequate, just right". Lagom is also widely translated as "in moderation", "in balance", "optimal", "suitable", and "average". But whereas words like "sufficient" and "average" suggest some degree of abstinence, scarcity, or failure, lagom carries the connotation of perfection or appropriateness. The archetypical Swedish proverb "Lagom är bäst", literally "Lagom is best", is translated as "Enough is as good as a feast" in the Lexin dictionary.

I speak and live in superlatives. I live my life in the extremes. Everything is the best thing ever or the worst thing ever. You're UNbelievable or you HAVE to be kidding me. I LOVE everything or I HATE something. This SUCKS or that's AWESOME! It's the New Yorker in me that I was never able to shake. When my friends pointed it out, I thought they were out of their goddamn minds. Then when I went home to New York and heard my friends speak like that, it all of a sudden became so clear to me.

Swedes don't live in extremes. They live within a middle spectrum. Nobody's too rich, nobody's too poor. You don't love anything, you don't hate anything. You're not too happy, you're not too sad. Everything is just right. And to live in an extreme is to be unbalanced, unhealthy. It's a smart philosophy.

When I started to learn Swedish, I often used the verb älska (to love) when referring to things that I loved. Everyone laughed at me and said that Swedes didn't use it unless they really loved something, whereas I only used it when I marginally liked something. They were right.

Nobody here is overly expressive or emotional. They're calm, composed, and relaxed. I'm fiery, disheveled, and stressed out.

That satisfied, "good enough but not too much" way of life is lagom. The word itself has no english equivalent.

So why did I all of a sudden remember I needed to touch upon lagom in this blog?

I watched highlights of the FINA World Championships (swimming) on Eurosport and I don't know what was in these commentators' Fruit Loops, but it was definitely NOT lagom. And it's not often that you hear or see Swedes that aren't lagom.

Michael Phelps broke like 17 world records and flexed his goofy, oversized American meatheadedness over and over again and these commentators went absolutely apeshit.

OYOYOY!!! MICHAEL PHELPS!!! OYOYOY!!!

I've haven't heard such rabid enthusiasm since I moved here. This went on during an entire half-hour highlight show.

And now I'm watching Arm Wars (arm wrestling) which is arguably the most insane, televised sport ever, featuring overgrown meatheads giving each other hernias...

...and the commentators?

Totally lagom.