The IPO (Initial Public Offering) of the PR Mix
When I lived in San Francisco, I began to compile a secret music playlist. It's a secret family recipe of sorts. Though it has nothing to do with my family. But it is a recipe...
...for romance. (I just came up with that)
The PR mix gained quite a mysterious reputation among my friends in San Francisco. I think I talked about it one night while having some drinks with a group of female friends. In typical "Rommy" fashion I spoke about the enchanting effects it had on women after a few drinks and a happy frolic back to my place.
The girls laughed in my face. Also typical.
But just the mention of this magical "hookup" mix started to pique some interest. Because expectedly some of them started to wonder in their own head what kind of music could possibly be on this mix. As I got further into their heads, I could tell that they started to wonder what music would get THEM in the mood. So they casually started to ask questions.
And then I was the one laughing. There was no way I would be willing to divulge the secret. It had been simply too important and far too effective for me to just give away. Particularly to girls I was HITTING on. Furthermore if I let the cat out of the bag, it was a death sentence for my sex life in San Francisco. Every dude running around with the PR mix is NOT what I needed for competition.
The mix didn't just come to me. It went through MANY iterations taking years to perfect. It's eclectic. I've listened to it over a thousand times. I've changed the order, added some songs, removed some others. And I continued to try it on women, gauging their reactions, gauging my own. If I skipped a song, I took a mental note to drop it. If I heard a great song while driving, I took a mental note to add it.
I literally got it to the point where just about every song got them smiling or relaxed or laughing or...other stuff. I knew I nailed it, when at the beginning of each song I would hear "I love this song!" or "This mix is amazing." I gave it to a couple female friends who I hadn't been romantically involved with. One of them brought it to work. She claimed she had to shut the door to her office when she listened to it. When she told her friends how awesome the mix was, they all wanted copies of it.
I'd created a monster. And it was mine. And it worked. I could just about pinpoint their mental and physical moods at precise moments throughout the mix. And I won't say that all the women were predictable. It worked better on some women than it did on others, but the success rate was almost 100%. I wish I was kidding.
So these female friends of mine had a good laugh about it. Mostly them laughing at me for being so silly and chauvinistic/douchebaggy. And me laughing at them because despite this mockery/disgust they still wanted to know what was on it.
I don't think it's perfect yet. But it hasn't changed for a while, only because I don't want to offset the balance. And for every guy, the PR mix might be different. Everything from their type of woman to their location (the PR Mix has had only moderate success in Europe) to their taste in music. My PR mix has some personal flavor with some personal meaning behind some of the songs.
Some tips for a PR mix include:
- The order is critical to its success. Shuffle is NOT your friend.
- You'll want to start with songs that serve as background music so that you can speak over it. But if you're both drunk you'd want them to be able to smile and recognize the song and feel comfortable/relaxed.
- Some electronic lounge early on is a good relaxant. Especially with some wine.
- Mix it up. Be eclectic. Show your range. Lounge, pop, 80s, crooners, jazz, bossa nova.
- It's key to throw in some songs that everyone recognizes. It keeps a conversation going when she can smile and appreciate your choice in music.
- Don't be too obvious. Don't throw Barry White on it unless you want her to laugh at you. Romance can be fun, but it shouldn't be obvious.
- Put your best songs in the middle. It's the heart of the mix. The songs below in green are the ones that cause serious emotional conflict and physical desire. They melt even the coldest hearts.
- Put your most relaxing songs at the end.
I swore I wouldn't divulge the mix, but I'm getting old, and I need to pass on the secret. Plus, it gives everyone a little something to talk about, something to laugh at, and something to disagree with (as is the case with every list).
So without further ado, I present to you Rommy's long-awaited PR Mix:
- New York State of Mind - Billy Joel
- I Left My Heart in San Francisco - Tony Bennett
- Happy Together - The Turtles
- Ain't No Sunshine - Bill Withers
- The Most Beautiful Girl in the Room - Flight of the Conchords
- She's Always a Woman to Me - Billy Joel
- (Sittin' On) The Dock of the Bay - Otis Redding
- A Whiter Shade of Pale - Procol Harum (not on Spotify)
- Hide and Seek - Imogen Heap
- Porcelain - Moby
- Jesus to a Child - George Michael
- Nude - Radiohead
- Stand by Me - Ben E. King
- Slow Motion Bossa Nova - Celso Fonseca
- Trouble - Coldplay
- Falling in Love At a Coffee Shop - Landon Pigg (not on Spotify)
- One More Try - George Michael
- Nightswimming - R.E.M.
- In the Wee Small Hours of the Morning - Frank Sinatra
- Hideaway - Karen O and the Kids
If you want to subscribe to it, I have the playlist up on Spotify (PR Mix Spotify), but unfortunately some of the songs are unavailable due to licensing issues. It's only at 90% over there, but it's still close.
Oh and I'll spare you the details of what PR stands for (it's not as bad as you think).
The Great Expat Super Bowl Challenge
The Super Bowl is the biggest American holiday of the year. Furthermore, it's the one event of the year that we American expats can all get together and overindulge in our American culture - our spectacle, our tradition, and our competition. In short, our hard-hitting, meatheaded, Americanism.
But it's not so easy to be an American abroad during football season. Being abroad has made following the NFL very difficult. Games are on Sunday and Monday nights, which for us translates to ridiculous hours of the morning. So we feel a bit more detached from the tradition of American sports.
Then on the ONE night of the year, the night of the big event, the Super Bowl, the tables turn. The NFL season we've had such a tough time following all fall and winter, all culminates in the single championship game. It's the one event of world sport that all of a sudden the whole world chooses to watch, report about, talk about, Facebook about, tweet about, Gmail chat about, email about, fart about, etc.
And I'm simply too old to want to start watching a three hour game at midnight on a school night. So tomorrow night, I'm hosting some friends at my place to watch a re-airing of the Super Bowl in HD on Viasat Sports. We will have guacamole, pizza, chips, beer, etc. etc. etc. And we will be Americans. And it will be great.
But tonight begins the Great Expat Super Bowl Challenge.
When I wake up in the morning, I will need to avoid, at all costs, any connection to the world, until 6pm tomorrow night.
I will need to:
- Not turn on the television.
- Not check email.
- Not access Facebook.
- Not access Twitter.
- Not read the news.
- Not look at my iPhone.
- Not talk to any American friends.
In other words, I need to not do ANYTHING wherein there's even the slightest inkling of a chance that I may find out the score of the game before we start watching it tomorrow.
I was successful last year, but to stay completely disconnected from the world, in such a connected world is an EPIC challenge and just gets tougher year after year.
Unbelievable.
I just learned some new Swedish exclamations which roughly translate to "UNBELIEVABLE".
Shit pommes frites!
Holy bananas!
I need to figure out a way to bring these to the US. These are some fierce phrases. Thanks M!
Happy Thanksgiving from The Swedish Chef???
I'll bet none of you knew that Swedes celebrate Thanksgiving.
Well they don't of course, but the Swedish Chef does:
A very happy Thanksgiving to all my friends in Sweden and in the US! Enjoy your kalkon and tranbär sås!
By the way, while we're on the whole Muppets thing, you HAVE to watch this:
Help my friends Omid and Alannah win a trip on the inaugural Air France A380 flight
Air France is holding a YouTube video contest. They commissioned a French group to write a song and then challenged the public to put together a video to the music. The winners win a trip to and weekend in New York, flying on the maiden voyage of the A380 flight.
Hands down the best video happens to be the one by my friend Omid and his wife Alannah, two expats living in Paris. The more views they get of their video, the better the chance they have of winning. I won't need to tell you to watch it more than once, because you'll find it worthy enough to do so on your own. Also leave comments and rate the video. The *most fun* comment (in French) also has a chance at winning a spot above the flight!
My 100th Post: 100 Reasons Why Sweden Rocks
I think we as Swedes and expats tend to lose sight of all the reasons why Sweden is awesome, particularly when the country is enveloped in darkness and cold.
For my hundredth post, I present to you 100 Reasons why Sweden Rocks (in absolutely no particular order):
- It's a very clean place.
- Everyone is an environmentalist.
- The Swedes are proud of their high tax rate going to support social programs like healthcare.
- Europe (and by this I mean the brilliant artists behind The Final Countdown)
- Winter is a beautiful, festive season with candles and julbord feasts.
- Glögg (this deserved its own point)
- Pepparkakor (also deserved its own point)
- Pancakes and split pea soup Thursdays
- Kanelbullens Dag (Cinnamon Roll Day)
- Everybody is beautiful.
- Summertime gets everyone smiling.
- Very few European cultures are as hip to technology as the Swedes are.
- Swedish design. 'Nuff said.
- Kubb
- Nils Oscar beer.
- MEATBALLS!
- Reindeer
- Basshunter. Boten Anna.
- Sill, otherwise known as herring.
- Lax, otherwise known as salmon.
- A well-funded, quick, efficient, and clean public transportation system.
- ABBA
- Roxette. I'll say it again. Roxette. She deserves to be mentioned twice.
- Lars Winnerbäck who, if you haven't listened to him, is fantastic.
- Renowned director Ingmar Bergman
- Renowned actress Ingrid Bergman
- Björn Borg, not only for his epic tennis-playing skills but for his good clothing (he has one of the biggest fashion brands here)
- Monica Zetterlund, a fantastic jazz vocalist who sangs some very steamy jazz standards in the 60s and 70s.
- Sambo
- Gay marriage is legal and widely accepted.
- The midnight sun.
- The Northern Lights.
- The crime is so low, that I never fear for my safety when I walk the streets at night.
- The Daily Show Stockholm Syndrome Part I
- The Daily Show Stockholm Syndrome Part II
- Henrik Schyffert's Full Like a Kastrull
- These hilarious experiments took place in Stockholm: http://thefuntheory.com
- The epic Michael Jackson dance tribute took place in Stockholm.
- You may disagree with me, but Inga from Sweden.
- Midsommarsdagen or Midsummer's Day, traditionally held on the Friday after the longest day of the year (end of June)
- For more clarification on the above point, check out this banned Ikea commercial: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8I5BGsK5ZAU
- The longstanding tradition of dancing around the Maypole during Midsommarsdagen: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Maypole#Sweden
- Swedish dansbands. Click on ANY picture here and you will see what true awesome is: http://www.svenskadansband.se/top.php
- Sweden has a wicked (and very much still thriving) metal scene.
- Magnus Samuelsson
- Home of the Nobel Prize.
- Home of the least corrupt government in the world.
- The clever alteration of street signs.
- Modern Swedish architecture.
- Stockholm is built on islands for crying out loud.
- It's still got a king (and queen and royal family).
- Hockey. Period.
- Allmänsrätten (literally All men's right). Man's right to roam. The maxim: "Do not disturb, do not destroy." It's really something only civilized countries can get away with.
- Uh...the VIKINGS were awesome.
- IKEA. I may not appreciate it so much, but it's notably Swedish.
- St. Lucia Day
- Stockholm has tons of green area.
- An enormous ship called the Vasa sunk moments after it launched on its maiden voyage.
- Pasta sallad and paj. Two standard cafe meals.
- Pizza sallad!!!1!1!
- Sweden has taken in more Iraqi refugees than any other country in Europe. (though it hasn't been completely without controversy)
- The Swedish chef! Ok fine, he's not Swedish, but he's still AWESOME!
- Swedish penis enlarger pumps. Hey, I'm sure they've helped many a gentleman feel just a little bit better about himself.
- Swedish fish!!! And YES, they do exist here! (But they're multicolored and they're just called "fish", duh.)
- Godis (pronounced goodies). Every 7-Eleven, supermarket, and video store has an epic selection of loose candy. And it's amazing.
- H&M (Hennes & Mauritz). I don't ever seem to have any luck there, but hey lots of people seem to find some great clothes there and good for them.
- Science. Sweden continues to throw a lot of money, and remains at, the forefront of scientific research.
- They may have created a highly successful AIDS vaccine that works in humans which frankly, is badass.
- Stockholm was badass enough to declare itself the Capital of Scandinavia which I'm sure has pissed off Norway, Denmark, and maybe even Finland and Iceland. But it's Sweden and Sweden is awesome and Sweden knows it.
- Gustaf Erik Pasch, a Swede, invented the match.
- Jonas Offrell invented a revolver at the same time as (and independently of) Samuel Colt! And to think that Sweden is now neutral.
- Alfred Nobel invented dynamite! And is the man behind #46 above.
- Carl Rikard Nyberg invented the blowtorch.
- Frans Wilhelm Lindqvist invented the kerosene stove.
- Swedes are pyromaniacs according to 70 - 74.
- Ericsson.
- Volvo. (notably maker of one of the safest cars in the world)
- Nils Bohlin who worked at Volvo invented the three-point safety belt which keeps us all alive today!
- Saab.
- Julmust, a Swedish holiday soft drink is also the greatest soft drink known to mankind.
- Anders Celsius is Swedish.
- The lakes completely freeze over in winter time and everyone walks on them for fun.
- Sweden's main film production facility is called Trollywood.
- Swedish grocery stores charge for wasteful, environmentally-destructive bags in an attempt to discourage people from using them...and it works.
- Sweden music exports are third in the world following the US and the UK!
- Sweden has an ice hotel, made completely from ice which melts every summer and gets rebuilt every autumn. Badass.
- Skype is Swedish.
- Swedish weddings are among the most fun in the world. I don't care what anyone else thinks.
- Sweden has their own distance measurement called the mil (actually it's not specifically Swedish, it's Scandinavian)
- Thai food is AWESOME here.
- There's this fermented herring here called surströmming which apparently smells so fucking bad, it can't be eaten inside. Which is awesome.
- Electrolux, maker of home appliances, is Swedish.
- Absolut Vodka is Swedish.
- The Swedish word 'gift' (pronounced yeeft) which means 'married', also means 'poison'.
- Full means drunk. But ful means ugly. And when I'm out drunk and girls talk to me, I usually tell them I'm too ugly to go home with them.
- Lingonberries are a fantastic Swedish berry which go great with meatballs, herring, and other savory Swedish meals.
- Swedes. Love. Potatoes.
- Sweden is a lagom culture.
- Swedes love New York.
- And to think that a country of just 10 million people has accomplished so much and has made such a broad spanning impact is just plain freaking awesome.
I'm such a Sweden fanboy.
Nostalgic for the Mission Burrito
I've been here for 15 months now.
In that time, my spoken and written english has devolved, my skin has become pale, my pants are now very snug and tight-fitting, my apartment is minimally decorated, and I've mellowed out considerably and swear a lot less (although my Swedish colleagues would argue I'm far from mellow and continue to border on crazy New Yorker, especially when the team is involved in a heated round of Battlefield Heroes).
Though all these things may seem like major changes to my lifestyle and behavior, none are quite as dramatic as my diet. I eat far more seafood here, in particular salmon and herring. The salmon is usually poached or baked, and the herring is either pickled or fried. In the winter, like the rest of the Swedes, I hunker down with meat and potatoes. The potatoes are most often boiled, sometimes roasted, and the meat can be in the form of a stew, broiled (like a steak), or baked (like a ham). I eat far less lamb (the northern Europeans I've met don't seem to like it as much) and less chicken.
As much as I appreciate the Swedish diet and enjoy it thoroughly, particularly for its very apparent health benefits (Swedes are beautiful, and it's no coincidence), I have desperate cravings for food that, in all of Europe, is nowhere to be found.
In three weeks, I'll be going stateside for a few major events: Thanksgiving in NY, my friend's wedding (also in NY), and the Tuk Tuk Goose fundraiser in San Francisco.
My trip to San Francisco will be the first one since I left almost a year and a half ago. I'm going back under the most desirable of circumstances. We're throwing a huge party to raise money for some amazing charities in the name of a fantastic adventure that I'll be partaking in with two great friends. I'll be seeing some close friends I haven't seen in a while and I'll have an entire weekend to spend with some of them (though I might argue that's not nearly enough). It'll be the holiday season, the tail-end of a crappy recession, and a good reason to consume mass amounts of alcohol in what will be a big homecoming celebration.
But most of all, I will look forward to the food. San Francisco has, for 30 years, been one of the culinary capitals of the US and furthermore of the world. It was from San Francisco (Berkeley actually), that Alice Waters kicked off an American gastronomic revolution in the 70s and is still today revolutionizing the way we look at not only the consumption of food, but the farming and distribution of it.
My initial thought upon scheduling my return was to see if I could get reservations to Thomas Keller's The French Laundry in Napa, a restaurant that sits among the top in the world. It was a place I never got to go to before I left and I have regretted it ever since. For a number of reasons I decided not to, including the fact that I didn't need to drop that much cash on one meal before heading half way around the world.
But luckily for me, San Francisco does not run short on options.
So rather than head to The French Laundry, I will be opting for the second-best option: the $5 burrito at a divey, cash-only taqueria where no one speaks english in the Mission District. I will likely be drunk when I go, and will likely have the runs when I wake up the next morning (apologies in advance to whomever will be putting me up for the weekend). But it will be the best burrito (and Mexican food) I will have consumed in 15 months and I will likely consume it in 15 minutes. And I can't wait.
The Mission taqueria is a street-food gastronomic experience, rivaling the NY pizzeria or deli, the Chicago hot dog stand, the French creperie, and the Swedish strömmingvagn. You wait in line in a divey taqueria surrounded by Mission hipsters and homeless men trying to sell you bicycles. The menu includes items such as tongue and brain. The six to seven men (and one to two women) are slaving over a hot industrial size grill preparing cow-sized portions of chopped meats trying to churn you through the line as fast as possible and never screwing up an order despite the mass chaos that ensues. The hardworking immigrant pursuing the American dream is an essential ingredient to the Mission taqueria.
The Mission Burrito (Source: Wikipedia...you know something has a badass reputation when it has its own Wikipedia page)
When you get the burrito, it's usually wrapped in foil. When you bite into it, it's a flavor explosion. Meat (carnitas, carne asada, pollo, etc), beans (black or pinto...NOT refried), rice, sour cream, guacamole, onions, and a whole lot of love overwhelms your senses leaving you crippled about halfway down into the monstrosity. And the only way to wash it down is with a tasty Mexican coke, Jarritos, or Dos Equis. The entire meal is 9000 calories of awesome.
And of course SFers, challenge me all you want here, but at the time I left El Farolito was still serving the best burritos I ever had in the Mission.
I can't wait.
Want to see my head spin?
Close all the government-run liquor stores on a religious holiday (All-Saints Eve) upstaged by its pagan equivalent (Halloween), in the most secular country in the world (Sweden).
The Great Smör Med Havssalt Drought of 2009
While the rest of the world has been bracing for the pandemic that is the swine flu, Sweden has had their own national nightmare.
Smör (pronounced smirrrr) med havssalt has been disappearing off shelves and Swedes have been scrambling to make do with just plain smör.
Ok. I'll stop with the rigmarole. Smör is butter. Smör med havssalt is butter with sea salt.
Let me explain something about the butter here. It's amazing. It's used in all cooking. It's natural, it's rich, it's delightful. It's not some watered down, commodity corn substitute loaded with cow hormones and tasting like empty crap.
Smör is used in all cooking. And it's not used in excess because it tastes good enough in moderation. That is the way food is harvested in Europe; to be consumed in moderation. Novel concept. I know. But I know of a distant land that industrially manufactures food to be consumed by human beings as it would be consumed by cattles lining up for the slaughter.
Butter here is creamy. It's rich. It tastes like butter. You simply can't eat too much of it, nor do you want to. It can be used in everything and when you cook with it, you can taste it in the food. In a good way. It actually brings out the flavor in what you're eating.
More amazing than just smör is the smör med havssalt. The sea salt butter produced here tastes great in cooking as it does on fresh bread, with a little fig jam.
So when I was on the verge of running out, I asked M to pick some up on her way over for dinner that night.
She SMSed me to say she couldn't find it. What does that MEAN?!?!
I called her.
She'd gone to a couple places. One grocery store had run out and the clerk was clueless while the second place simply said they stopped ordering it. WHAT? I would've grabbed that clerk by the shoulders, shaken and slapped him/her a few times. Fortunately, M is a bit more civilized than I.
I grabbed my coat and went to the most obscure supermarket near me. It's underground near a train station and the kind of place you stumble upon by accident usually when you're not even looking for it. For the Swedes/Sweden-dwellers, Coop at Slussen. It's almost always stocked since no one really goes there.
I ran to the back of the store and opened the small smör refrigerator, and there it was. Only TWO left. I pondered taking both. Stocking up for what was sure to be a long, dark, and potentially smörless winter.
I settled for one. And the woman waiting patiently behind me as I grabbed mine? Well needless to say, she grabbed the very last one.
Is this what socialism is? High demand, low supply by an overreaching government that struggles to meet the overly-expectant needs of its starving population? Will I have to stand outside in a line in the cold, braving the Swedish winter, for a little taste of the heavenly, creamy deliciousness that is smör med havssalt??? Will I have to fall to my atheist knees to pray to Sankt Erik, patron saint of Stockholm, and glorious provider of smör med havssalt for the Swedish working man? Will I have to prostitute myself to government officials, doing things you only see in movies, making myself an informant for the socialist government and a political propaganda tool for the greater good, FOR BUT A TASTE OF SMÖR MED HAVSSALT???
I'd do it all a hundred times over.
Especially when it saves me from having to eat this USDA-approved industrial crap:
On missing a transatlantic flight
My good friend Mike had his wedding last weekend in Philadelphia.
And I almost missed it.
Follow Me on Twitter
- The cohiba siglo ii is my favorite cigar.
- I'm on a boat!
- One of my favorite parks in Europe. (@ Frognerparken) http://4sq.com/bdj23M
- In Oslo. I might just bathe myself in oil tomorrow.
- And it begins with the beautiful Scandinavians...
Recent Comments
Friends
- Chicken Nut Bread
- Cities Starting with S
- Dolly Grips & Gaffers
- Herra Chinky
- Hungry Amateurs
- Jeff Minard, Web Developer
- Life of Robbins
- Niklas' Blog
- Omid Abroad
- Se till vänster, där går en arab
- Seema's Blahg
- Space Miner
- Stockholmies
- Super Duper Fantastic
